Thursday, July 23, 2009
Playing the Shuffling Game
Well...not much to say today. I am just sitting here pondering if the decision that I made with my recent medication changes was in fact the right thing to do. Since I last posted, I sat down and researched each medication that I am taking individually for their side-effects. I have been having a lot of headaches, extreme nausea, chronic fevers, flushing, diarrhea, blurred vision, hair loss, stomach pains, intestinal cramping, sweating, anxiety, just to name a few. These are all added issues from my medications. I started the process of reducing two medications beginning this past Sunday; Monday I woke at 5:30 a.m. with severe anxiety and excessive night sweats; Tuesday I woke at 4:30 am with the same problem; Wednesday it began at 5:00 as well; This morning I woke at 6:30 without any symptoms! I think I am over the worst part of withdrawal. I went into a flare last night which is typical three to four days into any change in my treatment. My knees ballooned, turned beet red, were hot to the touch, and small red itchy bumps raised below the knee caps. It is the kind of itch that feels like you can only reach with a steak knife. In researching two very strong medications that I was taking I decided that the side-effects from the medications outweighed the symptoms of my Lupus and overlapping diseases. I have yet to receive a call back from Rheumatologist as she had planned to do at my last appointment. There hasn't been any follow-up for my bladder infection (which I believe I still have) and she hasn't returned my call from last week. It is very frustrating to have to somewhat control my own medical regimen without the full direction of my specialist. I have found that there are so few specialists that I don't have any choice but to continue with the one that I have and hope that she won't miss the most important issues with my organs. I needed to get smart real fast to figure things out with my system and do what feels best for me. I have a very high threshold for pain and therefore will endure more pain and cut back on the pain medication that is causing so many other issues for me. I have a week before more testing can be done and I meet with the specialist. For now, I am very happy that I have weaned myself from two very toxic medications. It has been a very hard week but I am happy for the decision I have made to stop over medicating the symptoms and try harder to deal with the pain and issues with a clearer mind and body. I would take childbirth over narcotic medication withdrawal any day. I would rather feel the pain than not feel at all.