Saturday, June 13, 2009

Nine Days In w/Three to Go

There were some rough days trying to get ready for our trip, but I couldn't be happier that I have pushed myself to my personal limit. Since being diagnosed and on so many medications I have spent countless days sick and hurting. I wonder sometimes if it is worth taking all the medication to endure the side-effects, but I now know that without them that I surely would not have been able to enjoy and fulfill a promise to my daughter for her 21st birthday. Five days into the trip I bottomed out and physically and mentally and completely shut down. I slept 17+ hours and couldn't get myself out of the comatose feeling even after that long of a break. I have been avoiding sun, stress, etc. I am fortunate that each home that we have visited understand my limitations and have completely supported my needs. While I have thoroughly enjoyed visiting good friends and family the return trip home is still looming over me. I am looking forward to the comfort of my environment when I go home, but each place that we have visited has treated us with the utmost support and understanding of the new me. I am truly blessed to have such caring people around me. I am so tired and have had extreme moments of sadness and moments of being scared because I am outside of the comfort zone that I have created within the walls of my home. However, getting out of my comfort zone and realizing that I may hurt, get sick, embarrassed by the amount of medications I take, needing to park in the handicap zone, etc., it isn't going to kill me and has only proved to make me stronger and come to grips with my new reality. Thank you friends and family for showing me unconditional love and support.

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